BECOMING...
Rachel Raez On The Journey Of Motherhood...
We sat down with mother of two Rachel to talk about the things that matter to Mum's of now & how their soul purpose can transform as the balance of life evolves…
The word ‘Mum’ is one of the first we’ll ever learn to speak, what have those three letters taught you about yourself?
I’m capable of so much. With clarity, calm, razor sharp focus and inner work I can achieve anything. I’ve learnt so much about myself as a mother - this mum life is one of fast tracked self discovery. It’s cracked open a new part of me and brought clarity to my priorities.
How has the balance of life evolved since becoming a mum?
'I became more myself'
The day I was birthed a mother, my life completely changed. Flipped even. It was turned on it’s head. My identity shifted or perhaps more accurately, my identity became more clear. I became more myself. My priority for the last nearly three years has been my children. Ensuring I am at my best so I can be the best mother for them. Balance is on hold for me as I mother a breastfeeding baby and a toddler. It’s hard but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I feel at home.
Do you think your soul purpose has been refocussed?
'This is my soul purpose. I feel at home'
Over the past decade, my focus has been on strengthening my intuition. When I changed careers just shy of a decade ago, I moved into the TV and Media world with a knowing it was where I was meant to be. But how difficult to explain to a prospective employer “I just know I’m meant to be here”! TV Presenting was a purpose and a dream that I made into my reality! (So FYI, if I can make my dreams a reality, so can you!). But then…I was birthed a mother. I evolved into the next stage of me. My priorities shifted. The need to trust my mother instinct and intuition has become more apparent and my parenting decisions are always run by my gut feeling. What I’ve learnt from trusting my intuition is that I can trust my intuition. It’s strong and it’s safe. My soul purpose has shifted to be the best version of myself for my children. To be the best version of myself I need to intuitively heal, intuitively live and intuitively love.
They say ’the juggle is real’…how real?
I once tried to list all the decisions I make in a day to my other half and let me tell you, it’s just not possible! It was also exhausting! The mental load is huge. The juggle is real but it isn’t simply physical care for our children. It encompasses emotional, social, spiritual and care of the mind. Not to mention taking care of the household. Every day I make hundreds of micro decisions, take on countless roles and each moment I must prioritise where to have my focus. I’m juggling 638282 balls and I’ve somehow managed to keep them all in the air. Feeling mentally healthy is one of the keys to bringing ease to motherhood and while I don’t feel like I have it all together, I do feel like I have it together. It’s forced growth. That’s what being a mother is. Forced growth. If we don’t do the work, we stay stagnant. We are continually triggered by the same. If we do the work, we flourish as women and as mothers. The world needs Mothers. We are a special kind.
How has becoming a mum transformed your relationship with your own mum?
'Being a mum is forever'
I’ve full respect for my mum for mothering three children under four and naturally birthing and breastfeeding each one of us. When Mum went back to work, she would leave work to pick us up from sickbay, take us to appointments, drive us to sports training and matches, fill the fridge with nourishing food and put up with three children chasing each other around the dining table pulling out chairs to block the sibling behind. I now understand why she wanted some peace and quiet and started cooking dinner at lunch time. Being a mum doesn’t end when your children turn a certain age or move out of home. Being a mum is forever and adult children need their mum too. Being a mother is a lifelong job without superannuation or annual leave. Actually I’m by the pool in Byron Bay right now and let me tell you that even on holiday, there is no holiday! Holidays are simply parenting in a more beautiful location.
What advice would you give to a woman about to become a mum for the first time?
Welcome to motherhood
Congratulations! The next stage of your life is about to begin. Welcome the emotions, the chaos, the moments of calm and the love. There is so much love. My advice to you, Mumma, is to turn your attention inwards as you are the one who has the answers. Trust your mother instinct to guide you. Tune into your baby and let them guide the way. Respond to their calls for you. You can’t spoil a baby. Be curious. Be wary of advice that requires you to go against your wise mother instincts. Ride the waves. You’ve got this. Even when you think you don’t. Welcome to motherhood.
What are the most important values and lessons you will pass down to your children?
As Dr Suess so accurately put it, “today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.” I hope my children embrace in their knowing that they are unique. Heal yourself first. Don’t hold emotions in, let them flow through you. Be the best version of you. This changes moment to moment and evolves over time. You can do it. And if you feel you can’t, ask for support.